Why men turn into cold and distant jerks
Aren't there any "good" guys left?
By Brian D. Ridgway
Once upon a time, a little boy fell down and hurt his knees.
The pain was unbearable, so he burst into tears and ran to his mother, to find the love and relief he craved. But he didn't get it. His mother waved her finger, saying, "See, I told you this was going to happen but you never listen. Come on, stop crying. You're a big boy."
Once upon a time, a little boy fell down and hurt his knees.
The pain was unbearable, so he burst into tears and ran to his mother, to find the love and relief he craved.
But he didn?t get it. His mother waved her finger, saying, ?See, I told you this was going to happen but you never listen.
Come on, stop crying. You?re a big boy.?
The reason why men become cold and distant "jerks" is much deeper and more tragic than most people think.
A few years later, the same boy became the highest-scoring player on his school's basketball team.
But all the "praise" he heard from his mother was that his grades were low and that being the best player on the field wouldn't put bread on his table.
Again - his need for love wasn't fulfilled. Instead, his resistance to sharing and expressing his feelings grew even greater.
This boy experienced plenty of smaller or bigger events like that.
Then he grew up and met "her".
The Tragedy Begins . . .
At first, he seemed like the perfect man. He was charming, romantic, smart and funny. She could tell he really cared about her.
He listened to her with 100% attention and when he kissed her, the butterflies in her belly turned into waves of excitement, joy and happiness. The bliss continued for months and then . . . you know what happened.
Then there was another man . . . and another . . . and another. All of them behaved in almost the same way.
Her best friend never had such problems. She found her man by the end of college - and has been living with him happily ever since. He was ALWAYS helpful and caring. He looked at his wife with passion and sparks in his eyes and he was warm, open and confident around her.
Did the happily married girl get lucky? Is it true that there are only a few good men in the entire world and the rest of them are like teenagers?
Actually, neither of these statements are true.
The Tragedy Begins . . .
At first, he seemed like the perfect man. He was charming, romantic, smart and funny. She could tell he really cared about her.
He listened to her with 100% attention and when he kissed her, the butterflies in her belly turned into waves of excitement, joy and happiness.
The bliss continued for months and then . . . you know what happened.
Then there was another man . . . and another . . . and another. All of them behaved in almost the same way.
Her best friend never had such problems. She found her man by the end of college ? and has been living with him happily ever since.
He was ALWAYS helpful and caring. He looked at his wife with passion and sparks in his eyes and he was warm, open and confident around her.
Did the happily married girl get lucky? Is it true that there are only a few good men in the entire world and the rest of them are like teenagers?
Actually, neither of these statements are true.
What's Going on With Men?
If it seems like there are no good guys left anymore - the only reason for it is that deep down . . .
Most of these men are terrified little boys who never got the unconditional love from their mothers that they craved so badly.
The lack of love from their mothers created a huge, unfulfilled gap in their hearts. These men NEED to fill this gap with the love they never experienced in their lives . . . But they never admit it - because the majority of them don't even know that's the case.
No one taught them how important love is.
No one taught them that they're allowed to express and ask for love.
No one taught them that it's OK to be vulnerable and show their feelings.
No.
Instead, all they've experienced was a huge lack of love . . . huge disappointment and rejection. They developed low self-esteem and a whole host of other unwanted feelings. To protect themselves from it, they created defense mechanisms that shut down their emotional sides.
Outside a Man . . . Inside a Terrified, Lost Boy
Now, look at what happens when such a man meets a girl they're attracted to. He unconsciously feels she can give him what he never received from his mother. So he immediately becomes more open. He talks about his feelings, emotions, he's romantic and so on.
The girl sees him doing it - and she puts her best foot forward, giving him the love he craves so much. Everything looks perfect up until the moment when the girl unintentionally does something that reminds him about his experiences with his mother.
This ignites all the unconscious, unresolved pain and feelings - which then triggers his defense mechanism. As more months pass, more and more such situations happen, which leads him to completely shut his feelings down and become a cold and distant jerk.
From my experience, 99% of men are like that. They're hurt and terrified and they crave love without even being aware of it.
So yeah, it might seem to you that there aren't any good men left . . . But you must know that it's not true.
They aren't bad - they're just deeply, unconsciously hurt, and they desperately seek love - but are terrified to ask for it, because they're scared they might lose it.
Now, hear me out:
YOU and only YOU have the power to turn these terrified boys into confident, caring, strong, independent, warm and romantic men!
In fact, you can do it by just becoming aware of it (which you are right now) . . .
And then just consciously sharing love with him.
And trust me - once a guy starts experiencing it, his whole approach to the relationship could change.
What?s Going on With Men?
If it seems like there are no good guys left anymore ? the only reason for it is that deep down . . .
Most of these men are terrified little boys who never got the unconditional love from their mothers that they craved so badly.
The lack of love from their mothers created a huge, unfulfilled gap in their hearts.
These men NEED to fill this gap with the love they never experienced in their lives . . .
But they never admit it ? because the majority of them don?t even know that?s the case.
No one taught them how important love is.
No one taught them that they?re allowed to express and ask for love.
No one taught them that it?s OK to be vulnerable and show their feelings.
No.
Instead, all they?ve experienced was a huge lack of love . . . huge disappointment and rejection.
They developed low self-esteem and a whole host of other unwanted feelings.
To protect themselves from it, they created defense mechanisms that shut down their emotional sides.
Outside a Man . . . Inside a Terrified, Lost Boy
Now, look at what happens when such a man meets a girl they?re attracted to.
He unconsciously feels she can give him what he never received from his mother.
So he immediately becomes more open. He talks about his feelings, emotions, he?s romantic and so on.
The girl sees him doing it ? and she puts her best foot forward, giving him the love he craves so much.
Everything looks perfect up until the moment when the girl unintentionally does something that reminds him about his experiences with his mother.
This ignites all the unconscious, unresolved pain and feelings ? which then triggers his defense mechanism.
As more months pass, more and more such situations happen, which leads him to completely shut his feelings down and become a cold and distant jerk.
From my experience, 99% of men are like that. They?re hurt and terrified and they crave love without even being aware of it.
So yeah, it might seem to you that there aren?t any good men left . . . But you must know that it?s not true.
They aren?t bad ? they?re just deeply, unconsciously hurt, and they desperately seek love ? but are terrified to ask for it, because they?re scared they might lose it.
Now, hear me out:
YOU and only YOU have the power to turn these terrified boys into confident, caring, strong, independent, warm and romantic men!
In fact, you can do it by just becoming aware of it (which you are right now) . . .
And then just consciously sharing love with him.
And trust me ? once a guy starts experiencing it, his whole approach to the relationship could change.
(Conscious) Love is the Answer
This could surprise him and make him instantly relax. In fact, he might even start crying like the little boy sitting inside him that desperately craves love!
And he could start craving YOU again . . . and the thought of being with another woman might disappear from his thoughts.
He could become focused on you, dedicated to you, he could start listening to you again and reflect all the love you're giving him!
So, look - it's possible that a relationship can look like that again - even if right now that's the last thing you want to believe.
But let me tell you this:
You might have heard me talk about my fruitless self-help journey.
For 30 years, I bought and studied EVERY relationship program I could find . . . And in the end, ALL of my relationships still sucked.
I was the perfect example of that hurt, terrified boy, and every woman I was with said I was a jerk. (And I don't blame them!)
My other relationships sucked too.
I had no real connection with my kids, my friends preferred to go out to grab a beer together without me, and so on. All that despite 30 years of deep inner work.
I wanted to be happy . . . And healthy relationships are the key to having a happy, fulfilled life.
So out of pure need and desperation, I created my own relationship tool . . .
Which became the ONLY program that allowed me to heal my relationships for good.
Finally Released After 7 Years of Waiting
I've been waiting for over 7 years to make this relationship tool publicly available . . . And now the time has come.
I'm Brian D. Ridgway - #1 international bestselling author and international speaker. With my discoveries, I helped over 120,000 people from 84 countries to heal their relationships and thrive in all aspects of their lives.
Finally Released After 7 Years of Waiting
I?ve been waiting for over 7 years to make this relationship tool publicly available . . . And now the time has come.
I?m Brian D. Ridgway ? #1 international bestselling author and international speaker.
With my discoveries, I helped over 120,000 people from 84 countries to heal their relationships and thrive in all aspects of their lives.
Brian developed unique techniques that helped him and over 120,000 people to heal their relationships and thrive in all aspects of their lives.